Lost in Love (and oh-so-annoying)

I used to be the kind of girl who transformed my being, my essence, my interests--me--to date every general jerkwad on the planet. Okay, I exaggerate. Not every jerkwad, just a select few. Lucky me. Then I wised up, spent a fortune in counseling, figured my shit out (to borrow terminology from my previous post), got married, had a kid and KEPT MY FRIENDS.

I have a friend who is deeply, sincerely engrossed in a kind of love that is all-encompassing and sucks away your every interest. As a long time friend, I am thrilled. Ecstatic that she has found someone who loves and appreciates her for all of her talents, her insecurities and eccentricities. I am, however, sad. Sad for the loss of availability and shared experiences. Isn't that, in essence, the composition of friendship? The shared experience? I am convinced.

So I find myself being bitter and hateful to cover the sadness at being replaced by a BOY. Okay, okay, the word "boy" is totally inappropriate in this instance. I'm pretty convinced of that, too. Because isn't 56 officially past use of the term "boy"?

Oh, what's that you say? You were expecting this story to be about my glamorously needy friend in her early 20s? Turns out I left out one small detail--the friend to which I refer is 50. Looking just down the way at 51. Perhaps that's what so damn aggravating. Another omitted detail: this friend has never been married. She has been known even to complain that her married friends have lost sight of her, ignored her, left her out of their social calendars in favor of 'couple-time.' I was essentially threatened upon the eve of my nuptials to not leave my girlfriends in the dust. And generally because my husband drives me crazy I love my girlfriends, I have kept them right up there as part of the co-stars of my show.

Rats. Damnation. I get that love is all fun and engrossing, but what the hell do you talk about with all that time together? Maybe if you're single for 50 years, lovin' lets loose a stream of desire that can't be quelled. Maybe she's throwing that man's scrawny ass down on the bed, on the floor, on the grass. . .well, you get the picture and I am truthfully trying to avoid that picture. I just know that no matter how much you love a friend, watching them eating crow over words once spoken to you in bossiness advice, can bring a large outpouring of joy. See, I told you--hateful and bitter.